There are many factors that go into creating a loving relationship. Certainly, it helps if two people have some things in common regarding how they like to spend their time. It also helps if they have common values around religion or spirituality, around politics, the environment, abortion, and personal growth. It helps if they both eat junk food or both eat organic food. It makes things easier if both are neat or both are messy if both are on time people or both are late people. Physical attraction is also quite important. It’s great if they have common values around money and spending.

Yet a couple can have all of these and still not have a loving relationship if one element is missing. Without this essential ingredient, all the other wonderful attributes will not be enough to make the relationship work.

This essential ingredient is about intention.

At any given moment, each of us is devoted to only one of two different intentions: to control or to learn. When our intention is to control, our deepest motivation is to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. When our intention is to learn, our deepest motivation is to learn about being loving to ourselves and others.The motivation to get love rather than be loving can create havoc within a relationship.

                                          

Space: Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space. 

Forget: No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it! 

Disagree: Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t have to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay. 

Refresh: Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves  back together with them (not literally, of course!) 

Memories: Make some together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. 

Start now with these simple ideas to keep your relationship with your special person longer. Most important of all, couples can happily stay together as they understand and complete each other.

Face Up to Your Problems

We are all faced with problems throughout our lives, some are small, others huge. Depending on how we deal with them, they can be overwhelming and devastate our lives, or they can quickly fade into the past.

Attitude plays a big role. With a difficult personal or work undertaking, consider all viewpoints, even those you think you don’t like. It just might provide relief from your fearful analysis of the situation. Don’t oversize the problem which is often a panic reaction. Discuss the actions that you could take with a friend or co-worker which can sometimes provide a good suggestion and some instant stress relief.

Lay down a procedure and slowly complete the first task. The next steps should be easier. Often we will keep on worrying after the decisions are made, which of course is of no help at all. If everything that can be done has been done then it’s time to follow through.

“Our plans miscarry if they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” Lucius Seneca (3-65)

                

Rejection can be an unpleasant experience, but it just lets us know that we aren’t perfect. Who is? Consider it a lesson learned, then forget it and move on with your life in a positive constructive manner.

To help solve a difficult problem or to cut down on worrying about making a decision, analyze the situation, determine what must be done and carry it out. In writing or on your PC:

Get all the facts.

Describe the problem in detail.

List all the possible solutions.

List the advantages and disadvantages of each.

Detail what you will do.

Follow through.

You have detailed the planning and know that you will proceed in a certain way, but will review it as required. Later. Now it’s time to think other thoughts.

“What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing.” – Aristotle (BC)

Learn How to Listen - It can Help to Make Communication Effective

It is not uncommon during a dialogue for people to hear what is being voiced, without actually listening to what is being said. When you listen to what somebody else is saying you are in fact validating their experience and respecting their opinions. When you really hear what the other person is saying you are in fact empowering them to participate in the discussion, with an assurance that their opinion will be given due weightage. To become an effective listener is difficult and it is only those who are competent in their own field who have the capacity to lend an ear to others.


When you know and learn how to listen, you will be one step closer to forming relationships that will be enduring and affectionate. You will find people automatically attracted to you and want your friendship. People always feel great around people who listen to them, and I say this from personal experience. People have often called me a great conversationalist, even though I rarely contribute more than a small percentage of any dialogue or conversation. Yes, what I will have done is listen patiently to what others have said, and asked relevant questions that have gone on to elicit further replies.

                      

Think of listening as a relationship tonic and learn how not to interrupt others when they are talking, and yet taking in every word that they say. This will allow them to think that they are being valued, understood and given due importance. The very act of listening can make for an emotional, that increases the bond. People will feel that they are understood and that you respect their opinions, even if they differ from yours. It is then likely that they will give you an equally patient hearing that enables you to get your own view across, even if it is contrary to their expectations.

Improving Communication Can Lead to Greater Success and Effectiveness

Communication is the one way that human beings can give expression to their thoughts, their desires, and their feelings. In many ways, we first communicate with ourselves, before we get in touch with others.


The object of any communication has to be to see that our point of view or feelings is understood by others. For this, it is essential that we first understand clearly what we want to convey, and are completely convinced by it. Verbal communication is just as important as non-verbal communication which can come from body language, gestures, which are often just as expressive, and can at times give a lie to that which is said verbally.


Communication becomes more effective if it has a positive purpose and is respectful to the person or audience that is being addressed. You can work miracles if you are skillful in communicating. For this, it is necessary that whatever you say must be said with confidence and presented in language that is simple, easy to understand, and yet brief enough to hold attention. If you can present your views successfully, you are in a position to change the views and actions of others.
                                         
Proper communication can reduce conflict whether it is in the family social, workplace or other circles. It can be that much more effective if you understand the diversity in culture, experience and social mores of the people you are communicating with. Every communication needs to have a definite purpose. This can be a simple thing like passing on information that others can act on or respond to, or it

Modern-day communicating methods have led to things like short messages, emails, blogs, and others. Even here clarity and brevity can go a long way in making a communication effective. All these principles of simplicity, clarity, and brevity are important when while making written reports that serve as communication to a wider range of people. It can lead to your views not being misunderstood. when you are taking part in meetings keep to the point being discussed, as if you wander from the subject you are likely to lose the interest of your audience.



Successful people are always effective and efficient communicators and the object of their communication is to teach, entertain and encourage others. Verbal communication can allow for immediate feedback in the form of facial expressions and body language. But in the case of written communication, it is often necessary to wait for a response. 

Clarity Leads to Effective Communication

For any communication to be effective, it needs to be precise, specific and unambiguous. Before you express your thoughts or ideas, you need to be clear in your mind about the words you are going to use, and the meaning they convey.

It is important that the definition and meaning of the words that you use be those in universal usage, as this can then lead to the message being easily understood by the others to whom a communication, written or verbal, is addressed. Ambiguity arises in communication when the words or phrases have more than one meaning, and you will do well to avoid their use when you are seeking clarity in communication.

                   

When you are clear in your mind about what you wish to communicate, it can also help you to be known as a person who has a balanced view of things. Words used are more effective if they are appropriate and simple. This fact is equally important in whether you are communicating socially, officially or even expressing political views. A person who is ambiguous in what he says is a person who is also likely to be a person who avoids responsibilities and takes advantage of the lack of clarity in communication.

Clarity has to maintain a proper balance between familiar words and those that convey the required meaning with greater precision. All words in any communication must be linked with an idea that is required to be communicated. Communication becomes all the more effective when i is coherent, focused and has a central idea that you want to convey. It is this precision which makes a communication effective. It is also important that the communication be timely and within the context of any discussion or argument that is in progress.

Practice the use of simple words that are universally understood, as the use of long and rare words an do nothing more than exhibit your knowledge of the language, though they could be more easily misunderstood by people not familiar with them.

Dealing With An Upset Customer or Irate Callers

As professionals, it is important that we remain calm and collected in our dealings with others so that we are more effective in communicating any message that we need to pass on. When a caller is angry with you for whatever reason, it is necessary that you find ways to convert this anger into acceptance. Your ability to understand the concerns of the opposite party and listening to their grievances can lead to greater understanding of the problem that has caused them to be upset.

You have to start with attempting to understand what the has caused the callers concerns. Often, it is something as simple as a fear that the problem they have will not be attended to. This feeling quite often comes after a caller with a complaint is shifted to another person, and the caller then becomes afraid of being passed over or ignored.

To allay this fear the greatest tool is to listen to what is being said and not just hearing the words being used. You need to create an empathy with the callers, understand their anger, their nervousness and their hesitation to accept what is being told to them. You must learn not to interrupt and mentally file away any rebuttals or reasons you may have for use later after the caller has fully vented his or her feelings. You must at the same time give the caller affirmations that you are being attentive. Once you have given the complainant a patient hearing you can then ask questions about what the person expects and discuss dispassionately o these are acceptable. Do not accept profanity, and remind the caller that you expect the same courtesies from him or her, as you are extending.

Now is a good time to mirror exactly what the person has said, the expectations, what you think can be done, and the time frame for any action. Summarize the problem and its solutions. If you do need to refer the caller to someone else more competent to handle the problem, ask for the permission of the caller to do so, while explaining in detail, why you need to do this.



The proper attitude, understanding the fears of the caller, hearing the caller out patiently, summarizing the entire problem and likely solutions and steering the customer to the right department can ensure that you will have a satisfied customer, who will elect to stay with you  

A Guide to Teaching Children with Sensory Developmental Delay

Development Delays Can Affect Children in Many Ways

When a child’s development does not meet the normal ranges for his or her age, a developmental delay can be said to have affected the child. Developmental delay can happen in different areas and the four most common are:

• Language
• Motor skills
• Visual or spatial
• Sensory

Language, motor skills, and problems with visual or spatial delays can all be developed with constant practice. Encouraging a child to talk and encouraging the need to express every action even during play can help to develop language skills. Motor skills also require constant practice and repeating movements constantly can help to develop motor skills. Encouraging a child to play hide and seek games or treasure hunts can help develop spatial skills. In sensory developmental delay, the child will have difficulty modulating the senses and may react excessively or not at all to sounds, light, touch.

All these areas of developmental delay can affect the learning process and make it difficult for a child when they start going to school.

Sensory Developmental Delay

Children suffering from sensory developmental delay will have nervous systems that are not able to process the inputs from the senses and are less responsive to sensations. As a result, this child will wait for a longer time before response or seek to make those more intensive. They would, therefore, enjoy very loud sounds. They would indulge in unsafe behavior because it is taking them longer to understand the danger. They may be hyperactive and unaware of pain or touch others aggressively.

Every child who has such a disability can develop physically mentally, emotionally, and socially throughout their life. It is only likely that such development may take a little longer and would require expert guidance and the necessary backing of a teaching structure and family involvement.

Parents, family members, and teachers can help such children to learn by continually using language that the child is able to understand. Let the child have a little extra time to learn any new skills and encourage the practice of them constantly. Tasks must be explained in a step by step method; each step is made as simple as possible. Daily routines that the child has to perform must be predictable. The teaching style must constantly involve the child to touch and listen with the help of audiovisual aids and other means. The child must be made to participate in activities with other children. The expectations from the children must be realistic and consistent without being too demanding.

Early diagnosis of developmental delay is very important as the longer period that correct interventions would have would help the child and give sufficient time to develop the necessary skills and compensate for any deficiencies. Other therapies like Speech Training, Movement Therapy, and Neuro-feedback can help the child to stimulate the senses to achieve the necessary development.

Creating a Homebound Curriculum

When Is Homebound Education Necessary

Homebound curriculum for special education allows students who are unable to attend school to go through a self-study program that will enable them to maintain the progress required to keep up with their peers who go to school. In such a program that is available in most states, the homebound teacher carries the curriculum from the school so that the student can continue with their studies which can be assessed by the classroom teacher so that progress is continuous.

Enrolling for such a program requires the student to be enrolled in a public school. The district or the state then assumes the responsibility of providing all the textbooks and other material, providing instruction and assignments, and enabling the student to be graded similar to other normal school attending children. The requirement for the student to remain homebound has to be certified by the physician attending the child or the hospital where he or she has been admitted for treatment. Students not enrolled in public schools have to arrange for the same facilities directly from the school they are enrolled in and the state then has no responsibilities.

Home Bound Curriculum for Special Education

Homebound education needs a proper informational packet to be sent to the student which will enable the student to continue with studies just as if they are attending school. This means that the curriculum to be followed is the same as for the particular grade the student is in with only changes being made in assignments or tests required to be modified in the case the student is handicapped to perform these in the normal way.

Even in such cases the teacher has to think of alternative assignments that can be completed by the student, with more time being given if necessary. Classroom teachers have to ensure that all lessons, textbooks, assignments and other material is sent to the homebound student, and exams and tests given just as to other students. The teacher providing the instruction to the home bound student has to ensure the minimum amount of instruction time as specified is given to the student and also help to coordinate with the class teacher to see that all assignments, exams and tests are carried out. Specialized subjects may need video or audio assistance and this also has to be arranged.

Homebound teachers have to also coordinate with the parents, the doctors and hospital authorities to ensure the minimum instruction time is available and make mutually agreed changes in schedules so that the student maintains the required progress. It has been found beneficial when adults from the child’s family are present while the instruction is being given. Finally, it is important to note that students going through homebound education programs are considered as being present in the school for purposes of any attendance requirements.

What are the Goals of Augmentative Communication?

Augmentative Alternative Communication and Its Use

The goals of augmentative alternative communication - also referred to as AAC - is to assist people who have a limited verbal expression, or are non-verbal due to some impairment or disability. For example, a deaf person, or an individual who is hearing impaired, may use sign language for communication and this is a form of alternative communication. Severe problems for communication are also noticed in persons suffering from cerebral palsy, autism, mental retardation and people who have not developed speech. Such communication can be either aided or unaided.

Unaided communication is by the use of facial expression, body postures, hand gestures and eye movements. Sign language is also such a form of unaided communication but requires special training not available to everyone. Most people also communicate their feelings with inflections in their words or the use of certain words or combination of words.

Aided communication uses boards, pictures, books or other devices to communicate with the person who has such difficulties. The use of blackboards, script cards, erase boards and markers along with computer screens can be used along with other voice amplification systems.

Goals of Alternative Augmentative Communication

AAC uses effective communication to allow the afflicted persons to fully exchange their thoughts, feelings, ideas and needs to other persons who interact with them. Persons who are non-verbal or have difficulty with speech can use AAC to communicate. Success in life is directly related to a person’s ability to communicate and has a direct impact on education, independence and careers. This then has to be the most important goal that has to be addressed by augmentative and alternative communication. Anything that compromises on this goal will in sum be a compromise on the tapping of the person’s potential to develop himself or herself into a valuable human being.

Most of us, who do not have any problem, depends on spontaneous verbalization to communicate. People with communication problems can use AAC to express their needs or wants with devices that communicate this by an unaided or aided form of communication. They can also use these methods to impart information about themselves or things that have happened to them, thus developing social closeness with the other person. AAC communication has also to include social etiquette so that the person with such communication problems is not seen as aloof or rude.

To achieve the goals of alternative augmentative communication in education, it is necessary that all activities be introduced in small steps which will allow the educator and the student to achieve definite progress that can motivate them to look to further the education. These activities also need to be introduced into daily activities and everyday situations so that the constant repetition itself will help the student to absorb the information. AAC whether aided or unaided needs to be constantly supervised and evaluated so that progress is constant.

A Guide to Conducive Education

Language is a gift that humans have, and it allows us to share our experiences, feelings, and thoughts with others. It has also been an effective method of teaching and communication.

CONDUCTIVE EDUCATION AND WHAT IT ENTAILS

Conductive education is a system of rehabilitation for children and adults with neurological disorders that do not allow them to perform functions necessary for daily life. This may be because of cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease or may be a result of head injuries from accidents or even as a result of strokes suffered by the person. It is a system of learning that was conceived and developed by Professor Andras Peto, a Hungarian from Budapest. It was initially developed for children with cerebral palsy but has since been developed to include other diseases, physical conditions and for all ages.

Conductive education is a learning process and not to be considered a form of therapy or treatment. The system forms a bond between the educator and the learner and deals with problems of movement and those of learning. It is an education system that has to be practiced all throughout the day and for the lifetime of the learner. It teaches the learner, whether child or adult, how to achieve what they want and remaining motivated to do so.

The primary aim of conductive education is to set up an active lifestyle for persons who suffer from such neurological problems. It can help a disabled child to learn to walk and attend school. It can help an affected adult to get on with his life and go to work.

FACILITATING CONDUCTIVE EDUCATION

The process of conductive education requires five basic elements that can ensure success.

• You require a trained conductor or professional who will organize and deliver the program.
• A detailed day by day program that can include all the daily activities right from waking up and up to the point where it ends with going to sleep. Playing, interacting with peers and academics can be part of daily activities. For adults working, pursuing hobbies and other interests can be included.
• All these activities need to be broken down into tasks which are a part of the daily program. These tasks become a tool for teaching and could be different for each individual.
• Children could be taught to express an intention followed by the movement required. This association of words and action is necessary to enable the person or child to have the necessary control over speech and action.
• Groups are then formed with all the persons in the group being matched for age and abilities. The interaction between the members of the group is encouraged to help each other and also to wait for attention. They observe other members of the group solving certain problems and are also allowed to be responsible for their own words and actions.

With conductive education, neurologically handicapped special need students can be taught how to sit up without help, develop hand-eye coordination and maintain their balance and improve bowel and bladder control. This will help them to get the self-confidence to deal with crowded environments, learn self-expression so that they can communicate with others and reduce their need to depend on other people.

Understand Learning Styles For Effective Teaching

 

Communication requires effective strategies if any knowledge has to be imparted.

All students have their own learning style and will learn and understand better if the style they are being taught in corresponds to the learning preference that they have. Learning styles can be sensory, intuitive, visual, verbal, active, reflective, sequential or global. Each style requires its own approach for being effective. It is quite likely that in any classroom there may be students who are comfortable with different learning styles and it is the teacher’s responsibility to ensure that every child is given information in the style that the child finds most effective.

Visual learners take in large chunks of information at one time rather than in gradual steps. They concentrate on graphical and pictorial information rather than the written word. They are therefore at a disadvantage as verbal and written information is still the main preferred method to teach or deliver information. It is a fact that 65 percent of the population consists of visual learners and as such are at a disadvantage when they attend lectures.

Identifying a Visual Learner

Visual learners would have difficulty in understanding any directions that have more than one or two steps. They would quite likely look around to see what others are doing and are likely to be more attentive if they are closer to the teacher to pick up any visual clues. They are easily distracted and learn best when a demonstration or illustration is given. They cannot remember information given orally but will memorize the same if given the same thing in writing that they can see. Their attention span for long oral lectures is limited and they may learn better if they write down what they are hearing and process the same information by reading it at a later time. Any text with illustrations will get their attention better than just a paragraph of writing.

Improvement Learning Strategy for Visual Learners

Before any topic is taken up give the students an outline of what is going to be taught. Do not give oral directions that have more than two steps. Copies of notes are better distributed instead of students taking notes during the class.

Base assignments on the notes distributed and the lecture given to ensure that the notes are read. Ask the students to make up their own questions on the topic that will serve as a refresher or which will ask for additional information on the topic.

During the lecture handout or put up charts, pictures, or other visual aids to explain the topic. Ask students to make their own presentations on the topic and encourage the use of photos or models.

Visual learners learn best through computer-based learning especially if the CD-ROM has illustrations besides audio material.

Visual learners should be encouraged to copy over notes and note key facts. If they are so inclined encourage them to make their own illustrations which would highlight the points they have learned.

Visual learners require a little more time to answer questions because they can formulate the answer only after they have formed their own visual images of the subject even if it is of the words they have written down.

A visual learner remembers what he sees as presentations and also what they read and write more than what he or she hears.

The Spoken Word Has Its Limitations

Language is a gift that humans have, and it allows us to share our experiences, feelings, and thoughts with others. It has also been an effective method of teaching and communication.

Research has shown, however, that our understanding of others is limited to only 10 percent through the spoken word. When speaking to others or listening to others, the tone of voice accounts for almost 40 percent of the message that is actually conveyed or received. Which leaves almost 50 percent for things like visual communication, eye contact and more important, body language. These factors, tone, eye contact, and body language often act as communication tools, even when the actual words are not understood, because they are spoken in a language you are not familiar with. Basic information can become effective communication through just pointing, gestures and facial expressions.

Even when we listen to speakers on public platforms, people with the right diction, the relevant tone, and a proper posture are likely to be able to get their message across to an audience far more effectively. Ideas may be interesting or information may be critical, but the message will reach its desired audience fat more effectively if the body and voice of the speaker demand the right attention.

Confidence is another aspect that can act as an effective communicator. An effective communicator is one who shows through his or her body language, voice, and general demeanor, that they firmly believe what they are saying, and this does make an impression on the audience. To many people, such abilities come naturally, while to others it comes after practice and constantly learning from earlier experiences. Speakers to be effective must understand human nature, the art of non-verbal communication and it is only then that they will find language an effective tool for communication.