Be Comfortable With Small Talk

There are some really good things to remember about small talk. First of all: it is necessary. Second, many people do not like it, so is it worth getting comfortable with it. And third, it really does not matter what you talk about, it just has to remain small.

The small talk part of the conversation is really just to warm each other up. It is an opportunity to feel the persons mood out, their status, or your compatibility. You get a feel for a person and that is what small talk is mostly about. You start thinking are they all about themselves? Or, do they care about you, the listener.

Different types of small talkers

1. The conversation hog who eats up all the time chatting about him or herself.
2. The interrogator who drills others but never volunteers any information about themselves.
3. The "Let us pretend I am not even here person" who fades into the background and lets everyone else do the talking
4. And, the warm, delightful conversationalist who just does not have the confidence in himself.

The last type is often the bulk of people. And its something so important to know: That nearly everyone feels uncomfortable even if they look comfortable.
Social situations are nerve-wracking for many people so the most important thing is that you take control of the situation and be the one who looks comfortable.

Your job is to make others comfortable. Pretend its a party that you are giving, and you are the host. So your job is to find out about others and make them glad they came to your party.

Start by asking people questions about the obvious. What is obvious at that minute? How about . so how do you know our host? Or, have you taken these classes before? If you are at a networking event, you could state the obvious, so you work in Human Resources? How long have you been at your present company?

It really does not matter what you ask them. But, make sure if you lead in with a comment about the weather or something that you follow up with a question that they can answer.

Remember: WWWHW Who, What, Where, When, How, and lastly Why? (Asking WHY questions can sound like you might be challenging the person so its best to avoid if at all possible.)

Next, an easy formula to remember is FORM: Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Message. ( aka; their passion). You can ask about any of these things and people will light up because they are now talking about themselves.. their favorite topic!!!

Lastly, small talk is SMALL. Many people go off on tangents and start talking about something more in-depth than they should in a small talk environment. This is the time for BULLET POINTS.. not the whole story. For instance, if someone asks HOW you injured your leg, just give them the brief story, I hurt it in kickboxing; rather than a long winded story that will bore everyone to tears!

Conversation starters are really easy if you focus on getting to know the other person. If you focus on engaging them and making THEM feel comfortable, rather than worry about how you are appearing, you are bound to make a new contact, a new friend, and hopefully, have a good time in the process!